Scenario 1
Sometimes people say they are busy because they really have a lot going on in their life. Other times, people say they are busy because they need their own space, but don’t know how to tell you this because they are scared it might hurt your feelings.
Sometimes you might want to hang out with someone more than they are able to hang out with you.
It is important to respect people’s need for space.
You could say, “I miss talking about science with you. Let me know when you’re free to hang out again.” And then let her contact you.
There’s a person at school that I really like hanging out with. We both like science, so we talk a lot about cool science experiments we read about online.
Usually, I meet up with her at the end of the day so we could take the bus together. After school, I message her about new science experiments I find online.
But the last few weeks, she has been too busy to take the bus together. She also hasn’t been answering my messages.
I miss hanging out with her. What can I do to hang out with her more?
Scenario 2
If the person hasn’t answered your messages, they might not want to (or be able to) go on another date with you.
This is sometimes called “ghosting.” “Ghosting” is when someone suddenly stops talking to you, but they don’t tell you why. It can happen to anyone.
It might feel like they're being rude, but it is important to respect the signs they are sending you by not answering.
Even if they had fun on your date, there could be many reasons the person can’t go on another date with you. For example, they might not be emotionally ready to date.
No answer is still an answer.
I went on a really good date. After the date, I texted the person, and they said they had fun too. I asked them if they wanted to go on another date. I sent them five messages, but they still haven't answered me.
If they liked the date, why aren’t they answering me?
Scenario 3
There’s no rule for how many times you should ask. It’s about checking in with your boyfriend to see if he is okay and still having a good time.
If you’ve had sex with your boyfriend many times before, you might be able to tell when he is uncomfortable. Maybe he’s not smiling like he usually does. That would be a good time to check in.
If it’s one of the first times you’re having sex with your boyfriend, check in early on and more often. You can say, “is this okay” or “do you want to continue?”
Remember, a person can consent to sex and change their mind later, so keep checking in. If they change their mind, you must respect their decision.
If I ask my boyfriend if he wants to have sex and he says “yes” and then we start having sex, how often do I have to ask him if he still wants to keep having sex?
This project has been funded by Women and Gender Equality Canada
Consent for Autistic Youth
Digital resources
Asking for consent
Giving consent
Scenario 4
You can say, “When I say ‘yes,’ I mean it. I just don’t show excitement the same way, but sex is still special to me because it helps me feel close to you.”
Before having sex, discuss:
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What makes each of you want to have sex
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How each of you show you want to or do not want to have sex (your body language, things you say)
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What kind of sexual things each of you are okay with or not okay with
Share information about asexuality with your partner: https://www.healthline.com/health/what-is-asexual#how-to-tell-others
I am asexual. When my partner asks if I want to have sex, I say “yes” sometimes. But they always tell me that I don't seem very excited about it.
When I say “yes,” I really do want to have sex. But I'm not that excited about the sex. The reason I do it is because it helps me feel close to my partner.
How can I explain this to them?
Scenario 5
Telling your partner about your needs and boundaries is not being difficult.
You can say, “I love spending time with you, but last-minute changes make me feel stressed. Can you let me know about plans at least 2 days before?”
In a supportive relationship, each person should be able to:
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Tell their partner about their needs and boundaries and have them be respected
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Respect their partner’s needs and boundaries
When partners have different needs, it is important to find solutions that would make all partners feel comfortable.
My partner and I planned a quiet night at home, but at the last minute, she tells me she’s invited a few friends over.
I’ve told her many times that I feel overwhelmed when plans change suddenly, but she always tells me that I’m being difficult and that I should try harder to be more flexible. I do try, but sometimes it feels like it’s too much.
I want to make my partner happy, but I just feel so overwhelmed. Am I being difficult?
Scenario 6
It might be helpful to ask your care provider to wait in the waiting room. You can say, “I’d like to speak with my doctor alone. I’ll let you know if I need you.”
Your care provider must respect your decision.
If your care provider does not respect your decision, you can try asking your doctor to help you explain to your care provider that you want to speak to the doctor alone.
If that is not possible, talk to someone you trust who can help you. It may be best to find a new care provider who respects your choices.
My care provider takes me to my doctor’s appointments and I'm okay with them being at the appointments, but they always talk for me.
I use an augmentative and alternative communication (AAC) device so it can take a bit of time for me to respond.
I've told my care provider to let me speak for myself and they always say "okay" but the next time, they speak for me again.
During my next appointment, I want to ask my doctor about contraception. How do I make sure my care provider lets me speak for myself?
Communicating consent online
Scenario 7
If you didn’t want to receive that picture, you could reply, “I didn’t want to receive that picture and I’m not comfortable sending pictures like that.”
You should not feel pressured into doing anything that makes you feel unsafe or uncomfortable.
If that person respects you, they will respect your boundaries. If they don’t respect your boundaries, they might not be someone you want to keep talking to.
Before you send a naked picture of yourself to another person, it is important to think about what can happen if you do. There is always a chance the person will show your picture to another person even if you don’t want them to.
I matched with someone on a dating app and we have been texting for a few weeks now. I really like them.
The other day, they sent me a naked picture of themselves and asked if I could send them a naked picture of me. I was surprised to receive those messages.
I’m not sure if I want to send them a naked picture, but I’m scared they’ll stop talking to me if I say “no.” What should I do?
Scenario 8
No, it is not okay for you to show your friend naked pictures of your partner.
If a person has sent their partner a naked picture of themselves, it is illegal for the partner to then show that picture to anyone else without the permission of the person in the picture.
To learn more about Canadian laws about sexting, check out: https://kidshelpphone.ca/get-info/sexting-privacy-and-law
My partner and I like to send naked pictures of ourselves to each other sometimes.
My friend asked me if she could see the pictures that my partner sent me. Is it okay for me to show her?
Scenario 9
It's okay to feel angry and violated if someone has made a deepfake of you.
Block the person and stop talking to them right away.
Do not give the person naked pictures of you or anything they ask for.
Save the message that the person sends you and show it to a trusted adult so they can help you stay safe.
Report the person to Cybertip.ca or to the police. You will not get in trouble with the police.
Learn about what to do if your picture is shared on the Internet without your consent
https://mediasmarts.ca/sites/default/files/tip-sheet/tipsheet_photo-no-consent.pdf
I received some messages from someone saying they have a naked picture of me.
When I saw the picture, it was my face, but it wasn’t my body. They took the picture of my face from a picture I posted on Instagram a few years ago and added a fake naked body. It’s a deepfake!
They said they would share the picture online if I don’t send them real naked pictures of me.
I’m scared. What do I do?